Tuesday’s Beyond the Gates full episode recap is a masterclass in dysfunction, as Ted vows to reclaim his wife (good luck with that), Doug finds himself neck-deep in debt with the worst loan shark in Fairmont Crest, and Leslie earns the title of "Most Unwelcome Brunch Guest."
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| Leslie | BTG, CBS |
Ted Declares War on Divorce
Look who woke up thinking he’s the main character — it’s Ted, strutting into the country club with Eva like he’s not the reason Nicole canceled all her appointments and went into hiding.
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After making himself visible enough to cause a scene, Ted delivers the most cringe-inducing declaration of the day: He plans to win Nicole back by their next anniversary. Sir, read the room. Nicole’s barely holding it together and you're staging a publicity stunt with your secret daughter over eggs Benedict.
Meanwhile, Dani is doing the Lord’s work, dragging Nicole out of bed and reminding her that Duprees do not cower in the shadows. And where does she drag her? Right to the country club. Of course. Because if you’re going to run into every person you can’t stand, might as well do it in designer heels.
Anastasia Weaponizes Lip Filler and Church Gossip
The club might as well install a plaque: “Scene of Multiple Crimes Against Decency.” Dani and Nicole arrive just in time to catch Eva playing “daughter of the year,” while Anastasia — queen of unsolicited commentary — gives us her usual mix of faux concern and barely-concealed shade. She insults Eva’s outfit, calls Nicole’s love life a hot mess, and then has the nerve to hit on Ted. Anastasia, please.
After Dani and Nicole leave to preserve what’s left of their dignity, Ted corners his wife to make his Big Promise™: he’s a changed man and will totally be back in her life. Newsflash, Ted — promises require mutual interest, and Nicole looks like she’d rather get brunch with a rattlesnake.
Doug Gets Served by Joey, and It’s Not Appetizers
Elsewhere in this BTG recap, Doug is out here trying to gamble away his problems, and Joey is the worst kind of problem-solver. Instead of, say, offering sound financial advice, Joey suggests Doug steal drugs from the hospital or launder money through his fiancée’s business. Because those are totally normal options.
Doug insists he won’t drag Vanessa into his mess, but Joey doesn’t take “no” lightly. In fact, he threatens to turn Doug into a hand-modeling retiree if he doesn't get his money — fast. One week, with interest. Doug better start selling organs or hope Vanessa has a secret offshore account.
Leslie Burned All Her Bridges, Then Brought Toast
Leslie, apparently in denial about being Fairmont Crest’s public enemy #1, has the audacity to show up at Orphey Gene’s like she’s not a walking red flag. She tries to cozy up to Jan, but Mona already spilled all the messy receipts. Jan calls her out for being manipulative and for dragging her child into a mess of lies. Leslie’s defense? “I did it for love.” Honey, no one’s buying what you’re selling, especially not Jan.
Vernon joins the roast session with a classic, “I pity you,” before Leslie storms out promising “surprises.” Girl, you already lit the place on fire — what more could you possibly have up that sleeve?
Martin Hits the Brakes on Politics and Bonds with Eva
Martin’s over his presidential aspirations, and thank goodness, because if his dreams are any sign, he’s got bigger problems than campaign slogans. Haunted by some shady, light-flashing, money-colored nightmare, Martin tells Vernon he’s out of the race. Turns out, being surrounded by Dupree chaos reminded him that family comes before political ambition.
Later, he has a heart-to-heart with Eva, who just escaped another round of mother-daughter mayhem. Martin, being the surprise MVP of the day, offers empathy and a rare moment of sanity. Finally, someone in this town isn’t throwing drinks or threats.
Ashley and Derek: From Hot to Not in 24 Hours
Remember when Ashley and Derek moving in together seemed like a good idea? Yeah, about that. The morning after a failed attempt at passion, the couple is giving big “we need to talk” energy. Thankfully, Derek decides a hot shower and a flirty invitation might fix things. Whether it works or not, we’ll have to wait and see — but at least someone’s trying to salvage their love life the normal way.
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